I feel like I need to write this post as much for me as I feel the need to share it with you, tonight. Society can be a tough place to live in but living inside your head can be even harder and whilst it feels like you may be taking leaps and bounds forward one week, the next you can be tripping over your feet – just bumbling through. But what I want to raise in this post is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with bumbling through. Life is for the living; may it be joyous or tough or short. We have an obligation; a duty to ourselves and the people who so lovingly created us, to live out each day showered in love and radiating that warmth back.
Whilst recently I’ve been feeling great about myself, that’s not to say that I don’t have days where I feel less worthy than I truly am. I let the negative spiral of media/ culture/ pessimism-induced thoughts spin their nasty web and catch any glimpses of positivity, like flies – hopeless in a net more powerful than them. That, right there, is what it feels like. But this is not the truth. Each one of us has the power to turn our negative thoughts into positive ones and really challenge the way that we are feeling for better outcomes and alternatives.
Why is it so important to know that you are beautiful?
The true answer to this question is particularly simple; because you are. We are each beautiful in our own unique, diverse and quirky way. There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ person and, furthermore, there is no such standard as ‘perfect’. We may all seem to strive to be the six-foot, long-legged, flat-stomach-ed gal or the broad, muscular, big penis-ed guy (our version of perfect), but in truth there are other things that we subconsciously desire. Having this physique would not be enough. If we got there we would still not be ‘perfect’. We would need to be more tanned, more hairy, less hairy, smaller feet, bigger feet … the list goes on in its infamous glory.
If there is one thing you take from this article, let it be this: our tendency towards perfection in our current state is unattainable. This is because we are already there.
Let it be known that you yourself just as you are; you are perfect.
You. Are. Perfect.
There is no in-between. No if’s or but’s or maybe’s. This is you.
The knowledge that you are beautiful and that you are loved and that you are perfect is so empowering. It does wonders for your confidence and self-esteem, making you more productive. It has even been suggested that;
“a strong and positive sense of self immunizes against depression.”[1]
Knowing your worth and your value is one of the best things you can ever hold dear to you. But, yes, even the best of us get down at times and let our demons take over. I’ve been there. I know you have too. In this, we are not alone. And one of the most important things we can do for one another is talk about our experiences and share our tools.
For this reason, regarding body image, I have compiled a little list of 5 practical things that you can do to remember that you are beautifully perfect and perfectly beautiful.
- Be grateful. Gratitude is one of the most soul-settling things I can do for myself. It makes me realise that I am so much more than the things I remind myself that I am not. I am not my body. But I am a kind and sensitive person with a loving heart. I am not the cellulite on my thighs. But I am a strong runner. Those legs get me through 8k stints without even pausing. Ask yourself:
What things am I grateful for? What things CAN I do?
Write a list. Stick it on your wall and add to it every day. Soon you’ll have a list of all your abilities and things that you like about yourself that you will reaffirm into your heart.
- Say mantras. It was only when I got into meditation that I realised the power of mantras. They are just little phrases that you repeat to yourself, eventually internalising their truths and blasting away all the things that contradict that. Start by repetitions of 20 every morning and night saying things like: I am loved and I am loving. Or, I am able and unstoppable. Or, There is nothing that I cannot do. Over the days and weeks you will see yourself changing as you live out the true meaning of these phrases and firmly solidify them into your thinking.
- Exercise. To the non-sporty, this one seems like the deal breaker. But there’s a reason why exercise is included in nearly every single piece of advice you’ll receive. It releases endorphins which make you happy, challenging the validity of those claims in your head that tell you that you are not worthy. It’s also great for stress, body confidence and memory amongst many other things!
- Follow some awesome people who are kicking stereotypes! When I got into a really bad cycle of body shaming myself, I took to Instagram, deleted all the ‘haters’ (aka insta accounts that promoted unrealistic body aims) and followed some wonderful people within the body positive community, like Bodyposipanda. I save almost everything of hers and when I’m having a bad day I look back at all the great things that she’s said that are so ridiculously relevant and true.
- Treat yo’self. Now this always seems to be a tough one. When you’re hating on yourself, it doesn’t seem like you’re able to actually be worthy of anything. If you’re thinking that, I want you to stop right that. Mate, you are so worthy and never let a day go by when you don’t appreciate yourself for all that you’ve gone through and everything that you’re amazing body has taken you through. You are worth more than you will ever know and are so so valued within our world! So treat yourself. New shoes, warm bath, face mask, day off from the gym … what we thinking??
[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200110/self-esteem-work
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